Exploring The Best ACTUAL horror movie monsters last month for the MiniBests led me to discover that the guy who played The Jeepers Creeper also played, in that movie, "Bald Cop," missing out on the much-better role, that of "Cop With Hole In Chest."
Discovering, in turn, that there had been an actor who got the much coveted role "Cop With Hole In Chest," led me to think about what other great roles there might be out there, roles that don't get nominated for Oscars, or get put at the top of resumes, roles that, if they're mentioned at all, probably get thrown in there as an aside and embarrasedly put away. But these roles shouldn't be ignored. They should be heralded, because while anyone can play, say, "Don Vito Corleone," (because, really, who doesn't pretend they're the Godfather while singing The Bath Song to their 3-year-olds during the hair shampooing? We've all been there, right?)(Please say 'yes' or I'm gonna feel weird all day...), while anyone can play "Don Vito Corleone," a role that just requires a moustache and some mumbling, it takes a lot of talent to play some roles.
Think about it: How would you play "Cop With Hole In Chest?" As a sad guy, who's just realized that he's not going to find out who won Dancing With The Stars, because he's got a hole in his chest? Or is he grateful because finally he's lost that extra last few pounds and he'll look good at his funeral? These are choices that actors must make -- and don't get credit for it.
So I'm going to pick out some of those roles for October's MiniBests, and highlight The Best Strange Movie Roles to help get these hardworking people the acclaim they deserve, beginning with Number One, which is:
Nick Vallelonga as: Prison Inmate Sitting Behind Henry in Goodfellas.
I've never seen Goodfellas. My only exposure to it is to accuse The Boy of trying to be a Goodfella whenever he gives me one of his evasive answers about whether or not his homework was done:
Me: Did you do your homework yet?
The Boy: Don't you trust me?
Me: Did you do your homework yet?
The Boy: Which homework?
Me: Did you do any homework, yet?
The Boy: Why?
As tough as that is to get through, it must be even harder for Nick Vallelonga to get into the role of Prison Inmate Sitting Behind Henry. But Vallelonga may be an expert at these types of roles; his resume includes not just this one, but Street Hood kissing girl in opening credits in The Flamingo Kid, and not one, but two roles as a wedding party guest -- one of whom was singing.
But the hallmark of his career has to be, ought to be, Prison Inmate Sitting Behind Henry. Imagine what Vallelonga could put into that role: seething in one scene because Henry is blocking his view. In another, he's resigned to a dreary and unwelcome fate of always being upstaged by Henry -- first prison, and now Henry's broad, plain back, are all he has to look forward to. In take 3, Vallelonga goes for wistful -- remembering the times, on the outside, when he sat behind people on the bus, or at a movie, but now all he can do is sit behind Henry.
If you have seen Goodfellas, think back on it, and think to yourself: Would that movie have been anywhere near as good without the poignant, heartfelt performance of Prison Inmate Sitting Behind Henry?
In fact, think that even if you haven't seen Goodfellas. It won't kill you to ask yourself a rhetorical question, you know. Unless you're allergic to them. But what're the odds of that?
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