The next three kids are boys, so once Middle graduates, I'm done with dress shopping. What? What do you mean, "wedding gowns?"

Longtime readers know that of the five children that routinely make me engage in parenting, the two oldest are daughters -- I call them, cleverly, "Oldest" and "Middle." Oldest is turning 21 now, and Middle just turned 17.

Those ages mean that for the past seven years, spring has meant one thing and one thing only: Formal Dresses. Spring means prom. Prom means teenage girls getting all dolled up to go on dates with boys they won't like 3 months later. That means formal dresses to wear on said dates. Since Oldest turned 14, each spring has been met by the same ritual: Sweetie and the daughter begin talking about prom dresses, then go out shopping for one, then come home exhausted and tell me that we'll need a home equity line of credit to pay for the dress they bought.

Fun!

But this year, I can finally get the upper hand as Middle prepares for her own prom. Instead of letting her and Sweetie out of my sight with the family credit cards, I can steer them to Elegant Mart, which offers formal dresses for all occasions, including, importantly, prom. They have an amazing array of prom dresses for sale, all at prices better than anything I'm going to find around here (especially since Oldest, and then Middle, both insist that their prom dresses not be bought at Farm & Fleet.)

Elegant Mart offers free shipping via UPS Ground, so it doesn't cost anything extra to order the dresses over the Web. And Middle can cruise through the dresses quickly, deciding the one she likes and ordering it, and be done right away. That's imporant because secretly I suspect that Middle and Oldest have always schemed to get the dress they want by starting out at stores they knew would be unacceptable, and made Sweetie go through store after store, dress after dress, hour after hour, until her resistance was worn down -- then, when she was too exhausted to say no, they'd hit her with the hideously expensive dress they'd always wanted. Well, no more! Now, shopping will be done in minutes, not hours, with no driving, crowds, or exhaustion.

They've got 10 pages of prom dresses ready to go over on Elegant Mart's site, and they offer formal dresses for more occasions then that-- all priced well below retail. Well below retail, dads! Go get your daughters, click those links, and get this all taken care of now.